“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
You are worried and distracted, worried and distracted, worried and distracted. Jesus, I can’t get your words out of my head. Dammit. I’ve got guests to host and dinner to prepare. I’ve got young children to corral. I’ve got friends who want to socialize. I’ve got a husband who expects me to do everything well. And I’ve got a Teacher who wants me to sit. Of course I’m worried and distracted! As you should know, Jesus, as you should know. For you are the one who led me to all of this. You are the one who encouraged me to this life of discipleship while also being wife and mother. You are the one who called me to this worried and distracted life. So how am I to understand in the midst of many things, I need only one thing? How am I to take your approval of Mary, when I’m the one doing all the work?
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.”
Your words don’t make sense to me, Jesus. Why have you chosen Mary over me? Why have you told me she is better when you know how hard I try? You’re words hurt me. I feel like I can never give you enough. You’re always wanting more. Yet I don’t have more to give. I might just lose it, Jesus. Right here and right now. I might just come crashing down at your feet in a big sobbing mess. What would you say to me then, Jesus? If I were to fall, collapse, give way right at your feet?
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.”
I’m undone, Jesus. I opened my home to you, my heart, my whole life. I just want to know that I am okay. I just want to know that I am on the right track. I know I’m not perfect. But I’m trying so damn hard. Please, Jesus. I beg of you. I kneel before you. I lay myself at your feet.